To Mum

Mum,

You let out your feelings the other day to Vern and I was sitting there, listening to your every word.
Today, again, you expressed your disappointment.

I know I've not done enough as a daughter.
I know all you wish for now is my wellbeing, my 11A1's for SPM.
I do hope your prayers will be answered, if not I'll be very very very disappointed with myself.

Mum,
You've worked your butt off for so many years.
It's the school holidays, and you're still busy with your schoolwork and other commitments.
It's never ending.
Yet, you still find the time to clean the house, from my room to the second kitchen to popo's room.
You spent a whole evening making the garden more beautiful, you took off all the curtains (which are so damn heavy), sent them to the dobby. Then you wiped all the windows and our grill door outside.

Sometimes I really admire everything that you do.
Where do you get your determination, where did you get your strength?

When I had 3 free days to study for my last paper, Accounts, you spent the whole 3 days answering all my questions and teaching me from morning till up to one in the morning.

I lost my phone, yeah you did shout for a while.
But when everything cooled down, you and dad said you'll buy another phone for me.
Dad even asked me what phone model I wanted, and said the budget was RM1000 which is damn good enough for me.

You and dad agreed to buy a new phone for me, whereas dad is only using my old hand-me-down Nokia phone, and you are still with your Nokia colour and camera-less phone.

Tomorrow I'll be getting my new phone already.
You helped me search high and low in so many shops just for that white W580i but to no avail.
It's okay mum, I'll get the black S500i which is just as good and looks almost the same with the exact same dimensions too.

I understand I'm not born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
You and dad have to work hard every single day and the money you give me is all your hard-earned money.

You've saved money in your bank account all your life, and your life savings are gonna be empty pretty soon to pay for my further education.
Yet you still find the money to pay for my new handphone, and for my KL + Genting trip with my friends next week.

You helped me search for available hotels in Genting and called them up just a few hours ago.
You helped me search for the lowest rates for the benefit of my friends and I.

You and dad, never once giving up, planned my further education day in, day out.
Reading the brochures from all the colleges and surfing the Internet for more info on these colleges and what's best for me.

You thought of my future career options and the salary I will make, while I only thought of the fun and enjoyment in studying away from home.


Mum, tomorrow I will dye your hair for you, as you've been waiting everyday but I kept having plans to go out.

I won't think of dyeing my hair anymore till later, it is just an unnecessary splurge which will only waste more of your hard-earned money.
Now that I think of it, what is wrong with keeping my brownish black hair at the moment?

Mum, I was in the mall today and I wanted to get you a card.
To show how much I love you and dad, how much I appreciate you guys.

But I didn't have the time, I was rushing like hell.

The next time I go out, or on my trip next week with my friends, I will get something for you and papa.

I love you mum.