There's nothing much to write about as I sit here waiting for the bbbf to pick me up for dinner.
Random things are scrambling all over my mind like tiny little ants scurrying along looking for any traces of food. Simple things like "I wonder what's for dinner tonight", "I've still got so much work to do", "Damnnnn I'm hungry....", "Need to get back to that hairdresser in Kuantan, she's the only one who can cut my fringe just the way I want it", blablabla...

Life has been pretty much the same lately, as usual, totally nothing out of the ordinary.
I realised I've been finding excuses for a lot of things lately. Like, after Progress Test 2, I wanted to make plans to catch up with the Kuantan people, but never got down to it, telling myself that I have things to sort out, homework to complete... And now when I actually really want to get down to asking them out for some sort of gathering, Mock exams are looming, and homework is piling way up.
The exams just don't stop coming, do they?

I've been doing a whole load of thinking lately.
Sometimes, I tend to over-think things, bringing too much unnecessary pressure to myself.
Sometimes life is really that simple, but I, and a whole bunch of other people I'm sure, tend to make it so much more complicated than it really is.

Deep inside of me, I feel like I can do so much more than what I'm currently doing.
I feel like there is so much that I can contribute to the world, but I don't know where to start.
I feel like there is this whole load of potential in me that is just waiting to be discovered.
I feel that there is nothing average at all about me, that I am unique, and that there is nobody else like me in this world.
Yet, as days go by, I find myself delving deeper and deeper into what I most feared I would become - just an average teenage girl.

I find myself going home after class everyday, to sit in front of the TV, or the laptop, or just to read a book and fall asleep.
I'm not only asking for a professional qualification, a stable career, somewhere nice to live in.
It's just such a normal process of life to me - you go to school, you graduate from secondary school, you go to college, get a qualification, get a career, get married, have kids, the end.
Why must it always, always be that way? People who drop out of school get shunned by society. Who on earth decides what is the right way of life or not?

Then again.. what did I expect I would be doing at this age? Out there saving the world?

I had so many dreams back then, and they all somehow faded into the reality of it all.
I've always looked up to ordinary people who've done extraordinary things.
How did they put themselves out there? How did they leave their comfort zone to get out there to a poverty-stricken country and help people?
These people are so courageous and filled with a passion towards something they believe in.

The more I think about all this, the more I feel so bloody average, and average is where I LEAST want to be.
I am not at all contented with my way of life right now.
I want to be out there, doing something fulfilling. Opportunities are hard to come by, and I've been looking out.

Maybe, just maybe, my chance will come soon :)

Damn, did you just survive through this whole long blog post?
It wasn't supposed to turn out so melancholic. But still, it reflects the thoughts that have been bugging me for quite some time now.

Hmmm hmmm..
Parents will be coming down to KL for Formula One tomorrow :)
We got free tickets again but this time I'm not going with them.
Since I've been like 3 times, I figured someone else should have the experience, therefore, I told my mum to give it to her friends :)

Alright, managed to complete a post and now it's time for dinner! :D