Numb.

So SHE still doesn't trust me to be left alone,
so SHE still wants THEM around to make sure I'm taken care of when she's away,
stating that SHE doesn't know "what kind of mischief" I'll be up to
when I have been doing NOTHING but studying my ass off in the library or at home,
only going out to have my meals which are a BASIC NECESSITY of life in order for me to survive in this damned world,
even keeping my laptop for ALMOST A WHOLE MONTH so that I can be away from distractions when I am studying
but none of these SHIT pays off I see,
as I'm still being regarded as UNTRUSTWORTHY.
So if THEY agree to come over and take care of me,
then that means NO ONE actually fully trusts me to be independent and to take care of myself,
So WHEN am I going to learn to live alone and be independent
if EVERYONE thinks that SOMEONE should be around to be with me,
It's not that my grades are slipping,
What's the USE of getting the highest for T5 and getting 98% for T3,
if those scores can't even be used to PROVE myself?
Why is it that SHE can be trusted to go everywhere by herself but not ME,
does it mean that just because SHE is more outspoken that's why she is more trustworthy?
Why is it that THEY think I am vulnerable and SHE is not?
What's the DIFFERENCE even if people were around to "take care" of me when she's away,
when SHE is never at home anyway?

When can I finally break all bonds that are holding me back,
and stretch my wings and fly?